March 2013 - Page 2 of 2 - Matt Ralston's Blog

Why There is No Such Thing as a Progressive Catholic 4

Mar

15

2013

I’ve met a lot of people recently who claim to be a “progressive Catholic.” You know them: they don’t hate gays and don’t support the fact that the higher ups in the Church are really into looking out for the career longevity of pedophiles. If this is you, you aren’t Catholic. First and foremost, the ...

The Most Underrated Events Ever 1

Mar

14

2013

Given a lot of over hyped coverage about something as trivial as a new pope, I thought it would be fun to do a report on the most underrated events ever. As Americans, we’re constantly exposed to a television news presence which reports on idiotic nonsense like Miley Cyrus and ignores relevant information such as ...

The Washington Redskins

Mar

12

2013

Ugh, just had to relive the age old racism argument involving sports mascots, namely the Washington Redskins. Here’s how the whole thing goes if you’re hearing it for only the thousandth time: the Redskins mascot is an actual Native American guy, and it should possibly be changed because its offensive. While this is true, I ...

Chris Brown Sucks 2

Mar

11

2013

Being a heterosexual male who is able to formulate his own opinions, I’ve known for a long time that Chris Brown sucks. I mean, its obvious that he sucks as a person, but I’m pretty sure he just sucks at everything. A good way to tell if an artists sucks is to actually watch what ...

Dumb Americans Hate Chavez 1

Mar

9

2013

We all know that the multi-billionaires who fund the Republican party have orchestrated their retarded followers to hate a lot of things of which they have no idea why – gays, science, bus boys – but until his recent death I had no idea how many DUMB AMERICANS HATE CHAVEZ. You don’t have to go ...

Why Mitt Romney Should be the New Pope 7

Mar

8

2013

The Catholic Church has found itself facing a major scandal. Pope Benedict XVI, whose name in the real-life adult world is Joseph Ratzinger, had a bunch of documents stolen from him last May by his butler. The papers, known as the Vatileaks files, allege that there is a huge group of gay priests in the ...

The Worst Thing You Can Find in a Chick’s Apartment 7

Mar

6

2013

So, you’ve been dating this girl, hanging out – whatever, and finally she invites you over to her house. This is a rite of passage. You get to see her natural habitat and make some serious judgements about her worth as a human being. A quick glance will reveal quite a few things about her. ...