Why Isn’t Election Night More Violent?

Why Isn't Election Night More Violent?
Presidential Election Day in America is not statistically more violent than the same day in non-election years. That’s troubling. I mean, it’s good that people don’t flip out and act crazy, but if the low voter turnout doesn’t doesn’t signify our apathy or that we’ve been beaten into submission, shouldn’t our docile and obedient nature on this day? ...

White Girl Names and What They Say About Her Personality

White Girl Names and What They Say About Her Personality
I recently read one of those crappy click bait articles titled 82 Generic White Guy Names and What They Say About His Personality. I located my name, Matt: Hits on girls who are way out of his league. Okay. This all seems pretty arbitrary and hastily thrown together, not really based on much research. I found ...

Rufus Gifford Jumps The Shark To Idiocracy

Rufus Gifford Jumps The Shark To Idiocracy
Around the time Donald Trump became the Republican nominee for President of the United States, many of the clever and astute among us remarked that the 2006 film Idiocracy was in essence becoming reality. The movie’s theme is that of a dystopian future wherein people become hopelessly dependent on technology and the species regresses to the point that the ...

Demi Lovato And The Spin Game

Demi Lovato And The Spin Game
As a case study you can learn a lot about society from listening to Demi Lovato’s retarded musings on life. Lovato’s parents are white trash losers from New Mexico who thought it would be a good idea to let her drop out of junior high school to be molested by pederast hacky shit for brains ...

Magic Johnson is a Real Piece of Shit

Magic Johnson is a Real Piece of Shit
Magic Johnson always has a smile on his face. So do many sociopaths. It’s disarming yet extremely effective. It looks like a house routine. He belongs on a bottle of syrup. Magic Johnson is an activist. Because he got HIV. It doesn’t seem like he had much of a choice in the matter. I never ...

How Cool People Are By State Power Rankings 4

How Cool People Are By State Power Rankings
Some states produce cooler people than others, so I’m issuing the definitive official rankings on the subject. These are not rankings of the states themselves, simply the value of the people who come from each state. Starting from worst to best: 50. New York – These people are just annoying. Constant chatter about baseball and pizza. ...

Melania Trump Worked As A Prostitute 106

Melania Trump Worked As A Prostitute
Melania Trump used to be a hooker, I know this from firsthand experience. She is denying this. It’s already been proven that Melania Trump is a liar. She lied about having graduated from college, which was a laughable claim as if models know how to read. She also plagiarized Michelle Obama’s speech and lied about ...

Derrick Gordon Is Great At Entitlement

Derrick Gordon Is Great At Entitlement
According to Derrick Gordon, he didn’t get a fair chance at trying out for the NBA because he’s gay. He forgot the part where he’s not good enough. If Ben Simmons had released a sex tape of himself getting barebacked by Charlie Sheen the week before the draft he’d have still been selected in the top ...

The Case Against Women’s Sports 3

The Case Against Women's Sports
A good friend of mine recently proclaimed Serena Williams ‘One of the greatest Athletes of All Time’, to which I clarified, um, *female athletes. One of the Greatest Female Athletes of All Time. There’s no way Serena Williams could be one of the greatest athletes of all time because there are currently several people who ...

It’s Not Sexist To Say Hillary Clinton’s Voice Is Shrill 1

It's Not Sexist To Say Hillary Clinton's Voice Is Shrill
Hillary Clinton’s voice is rough on the ears. Shrill would be another way of stating it. High pitched, piercing, grating, annoying. This is not a sexist statement. To suggest so would be a miscarriage of social justice. Take a recording of her and play it to a small child and they’ll recoil in fear and ...
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